Absence is the real test of leadership

Arsene Wenger’s Shadow

When Arsène Wenger stepped down from Arsenal in 2018, after 22 years, the club struggled badly. Not just with performance, but identity, structure, and culture. Why? Because the business had become him. From youth scouting to contract renewals, from style of play to staffing structure: every decision flowed through his desk. Wenger was a visionary, but the system wasn’t self-sustaining. There was no built-in resilience. And when he left, the gaps became chasms. Compare that to Sir Alex Ferguson’s final years at Manchester United, where he delegated coaching, scouting, nutrition, etc. increasingly, built leadership layers, and obsessed over succession planning even when he was winning. One treated stepping away as inevitable. The other, as unimaginable.

He stepped back. He took a full summer to reflect. He did not panic. No rash signings. No overhaul-for-overhaul’s sake.  Instead, he quietly assessed, reset, and returned in August having made bold, clear decisions: out went 3 first team players; in came the famous class of 92: Beckham, Scholes, Butt, the Nevilles.

The 1995–96 season? A domestic double. A team rebuilt and reborn. This was an ongoing dynasty that had been reset by rest.

The Myth of Being Needed

You may now be on, or ready to go on, a family summer holiday or a break from work with friends. Think back to when you actually committed to booking the holiday. I bet you promised yourself, and those that you are going with more importantly, a clean break, a rest of mind and body and full attention on anything but work.

What normally happens though?

• I’ll just do a quick inbox check in the morning
• You do the check, read an email, start thinking about it and then say I’ll just respond to get it out of my mind
• You then get a follow up response – staff and clients now think that, even though you are away, you are available
• You have to check in more regularly throughout the day as a result – cue stress and tension with those around you

We tell ourselves it’s responsible. But often, it’s something else:

• Fear of what we might miss
• Guilt about stepping back
• Ultimately, a sign of a business that’s still too dependent on us

And the inbox? That’s just the surface.

Holiday Stress Test

When you actually do follow the rule of switching off and being unavailable, you will learn after a few days:

• What breaks when you’re quiet?
• Who waits instead of acting?
• Which clients panic?
• Which tasks mysteriously vanish?

This is the Holiday Stress Test and it’s about identity.  Can your business survive your silence? And why does it need to? Because if not, then growth, exit, or freedom is always out of reach.

The 3 Layers of Holiday Stress

If things cannot operate without going through you, even when you are away and (in theory) unavailable, it’s a clear sign that you need to act on these areas:

Systems

• Build SOPs (standard operating procedures)
• Delegate authority and decision making
• Clean data for others to act on

Team

• Pass trust to others and ensure they own the outcomes
• Pass on approvals and decision making to others
• Stop any grey areas and second guessing with clear guidance

Your Identity

• Ask why you feel you have to be in the middle of everything
• Cut down the layers behind why you equate absence with risk
• Ask yourself are you afraid of feeling irrelevant

The Silent Test

We had a death in the family last year and it took that to happen for me to finally completely switch off all work contact and focus on those around me who needed me.  Afterwards, in reflection, I asked myself, why did it take so long and for someone we loved to die, before I finally went silent on my business?  And more importantly, what actually happened in my absence versus what I always feared would happen? 

If you’re preparing for a holiday I really encourage you to try this: Step away from the inbox for at least 3 working days. No replies and no shadow-working.

Before you go:

• Tell your team/client who is in charge
• Leave clear boundaries: what to escalate, what can wait

Then, when you return, ask:

• What got solved without you?
• What didn’t? And why?
• What did you miss that mattered?

The lesson I took from my bereavement leave? Every problem that surfaced in my absence was always there. I just couldn’t hear it over the noise.  As well as being a physical and mental necessity to recharge and reboot, in the same way your holiday can also be your audit.

• What do you fear? That’s where to strengthen.
• What do you trust? That’s where to build next.
• What is still yours alone? That’s your next delegation challenge.

You don’t build an exit-ready business by adding more control.  You build it by adding more clarity.

Summary

Like Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson, you cannot carry on your role forever.  Holiday inbox silence can be your opportunity to let silence show you what needs redesigning.